StoneWall Society And Another Why?

Each day of course unfolds a new and hopefully exciting adventure. Today was such a day! For those of you who were here and read the first "And Another Why" here is the second. One which not only corrects misunderstandings, but ends a riff with in the GLBT community. Each argument/disagreement which goes on inside our community becomes a part of that same community. Rumors spread, "he said he said", (or change the pronoun it works in all areas), is the Gospel and we all know how it goes from there. Downhill...

Perry of Perry 2000 and I decided we would not play that game. I am very happy to say that Perry and I took about two hours to settle this and get acquainted. A very pleasant surprise to both of us I am sure. LOL

First of all. As I wrote the beginning letter, I would like to clarify that the disagreement stemmed from my misinterpretation of content on Perry's site. Then was a case of semantics. In talking and learning Perry's interpretation I understand his meaning. It was, and is not intended as a slur against any particular gender, masculine/feminine issue, or type other than those who conduct themselves in such a manner as to cause harm not only to themselves but to the community as a whole. The semantics, it's partially a local slang and then interpretation. Perry has also clarified meaning and intent on his site.

The wonderful point here is that there is settlement. Why? Not really a huge deal. Two adults took the time to communicate and resolve a difference. This one will not grow and become, however small, a crack in our community. Although, for a while last night Email wires were burning and an internet argument ensued. As you can see below. I think it fair to say that both Perry and I could have handled the e-mails in a much more positive manner. We decided to end this. I am addressing it here and Perry on his site. Again Why? Well we brought those of you into it by posting on our site, so we should also provide the clarification. The big picture here is to stress the importance of communication, and problem resolution. The first steps to a healthy and solid community. It happens every day, Perry and I both being verbose and willing to put it out there are merely providing an example.

Here is an example of the type of intra community infighting. This person nominated themselves for the StoneWall Society Pride = Equality Award. On the nomination page the purpose of this award, is clearly stated. I am putting this up on the site as an example. I am making no personal assumptions about this individual. This is not a bashing game. If you would like to make comment feel free to Email me. Responses can be posted here if you request that. However it is not my goal to continue a negative banter here. I just want to show you that the problem is out there.

One point of information. The offending words, you will see, are in the "Biography" section of this site as open statements of this person's likes and dislikes which is how I read them. All links to his Email. my Email, and site URLs have been left intact so that you may read both. I did tell the individual after the second Email well again all is posted here.

Comments: This is a guy who is not only cute. But he has taken the time to make a real nice site and it shows.

Hi, I have forwarded the nomination on to our board of review. I would like to take a minute to explain a few things. First and foremost The StoneWall Society is 100% directed to end/stop the separatism, hate, prejudice, and ignorance with in the GLBT community. As the founder I take personal exception to your "dislikes" section. When you say that you dislike Flamers, queens, and nellies you are spreading that same hate, separatism, and ignorance which we as a community battle daily. To say that you dislike a person without knowing them makes as much sense as me saying "I don't like guys with military haircuts." To assume that you conduct yourself in a particular way due to your haircut, while it is done, is inane! Does this go along with "straight acting"? Do you realize that these statements will send every non-masculine person screaming from your site? Maybe that is your goal I do not know.

As a person who has entertained the GLBT and straight world for over twenty years in and out of drag, I resent those comments. It is the responsibility of each individual no matter their nature, (i.e. flamer, queen, nellie, or macho) to conduct themselves to insure personal as well as community respect. However, as I said earlier the board will make the final decision. As long as you spread separatism and ignorance on your site my vote will remain NO!

Codi Pendance (Because we should all depend on each other!) Stop the Hate! End the separatism and discrimination! Take the pledge and join the StoneWall Society today. At http://www.stonewallsociety.com

BEFORE you judge me by what I put on my site YOU need to ask questions IF you would look closer to the meaning of it. The DISLIKES is their for the purpose to say I am NOT interested in dating those people I want some one who is a MAN not a WOMAN. That is part of my POSSIBLE RELATIONSHIP BIO. NOW You can not tell me that you would date a QUEEN, FLAMER, or NELLIE. I am sure you as working as a female impersonator YOU yourself were not dating someone else who was you were dating a MAN right. MY 2 best friends in the world are VERY well known Female impersonators in the south. WHO I choose to date and not date should not be an issue here. I am sorry YOU ARE no better the REST of the FAGGOTS because by judging me that way YOU are a FAGGOT. AS a matter of fact I am not interested in your award any longer. I refuse tome associated with a hypocrite who judges some one by who they date. PERRY Perry2000.com

Your information said nothing about it being a dating bio. Your award was not accepted anyway for the same reason separatist and grammar problems. The conduct in your return letter below states my case 100%. People like you give us all a bad name. By the way you just FLAMED! Does that make you a flamer. As for the " Some of my best friends are....." Don't even need to address that one. I did not attack you personally just the comments. You however made a definite personal attack. Men are not made nor known by the clothing they wear, job they perform, or action of their wrist. It comes from the heart a concept obviously over your head!

Further more I have received very many GREAT COMMENT I think you are just a PUSSY FAGGOT........ WHEN You descide to grow up and BE a man WHICH is what you are GOD made you a MAN not a FUCKING WOMAN and besides IF it was not for you faggots who give us GAY people a bad name chasing after every guy theysee, Acting like a girl when you are a man in front of children, etc.... Maybe poeple whould respect you a little more.

Wake up child! You must be quoting from your own life. Any further mail to this address from yours with the same content will result in a formal harassment complaint being filed. By the way maybe I should put your e-mails and mine up on my site for all to read and let the world decide. Think I may just do that. With your domain address so that readers may respond to you directly. These last two letters are examples of intra-community prejudice and ignorance. My intent with my first letter was to merely show you what type of a reaction your comments caused. I was man enough to tell you. Had you offered a civil explanation as in it is geared to your dating likes and dislikes. I still would object to the verbiage. Maybe offering a more pleasant way to state your preferences. However I do not feel as your two letters have shown that you care much for the feelings of others. Not surprising, possibly you are as self indulgent as your site suggests. Your site does have merit and potential. I hope in your growth as a person merit wins out over ego at some point in time. Again I did not personally attack you as a person. I gave an opinion. You can see how the rest of the GLBT world feels about your conduct on my site when I place all correspondence there.

I have sent no further communication. I did not really see the point considering. For the most part I really hate putting this on this site. However as there still seem to be some who feel there is no turmoil with in our community I hope this will make a point. That being, there is a problem. I have nothing against Perry just his list of dislikes. I still feel those comments come from prejudice, separatist attitude , and ignorance. Even as a dating bio certainly there are more effective ways of saying that you are attracted to masculine men.

I fully admit that my temper probably got in the way here. However the whole story other than what he has on his site is here for you to see and make your decisions. I am asking for no action to be taken against or toward Perry. He has a right to his opinions and I will fight for that right, even though I disagree with his basic statement.

StoneWall Society free web-based email, 6megs of space.

StoneWall Society	Services	Resource Area
Home	StoneWall Society Network NEW	Resource Graphic Links *******
Pledge	Job Fair	Resource Text Links N
Detailed Site Guide	SWS Community Awards Program	GLBT Web Site Reviews
Business Members	MountAroma *** and NEW	GLBT Web Reviewers
Friends of StoneWall Society	GLBT Petitions	Web/Internet Tools
Why	Research and Student Assistance Program**	International Pride Events Directory *******
Favorite Sites		History and Reference
Reading Room	SWS GLBTI Artists Promotion	History
StoneWall Webring	GLBT Artists Free Promo Service	GLBT Symbols
Member Webrings	GLBT Artists *******	GLBT Famous Persons *******
Link to Us *******	SWS Art World New and expanded	Archives *** and NEW
Contact Us	GLBT Artists Updates *******	Awards
Press Releases	Musicians Gallery N	Our Awards
Features		Award Recipients *******
Equality Alert *******	Member Related	Awards Received
NewsRoom	Member Area *******	Media & Entertainment
Travel *******	Member Site of the Month *******	SWS Internet Radio
Jacy's Page	Previous Member Sites of the month. N	GLBT Radio *******
StoneWall Society Zine	Members' This & That	Activities
Privacy Policy		Chat
	* = Updated N = NEW**	Gardening N